2003-03-11 @ 9:05 p.m.
suddenly, i let my guard down, and my whole life makes sense..

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Midi: Dedicated to Christina| ... I think shes become a permanent part of my life

Future: Christina. And its a very bright, beautiful future....

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Since my last entry:

i was calld... im not sure by who *cuz i dont care* but all the other tymes it was christina, and those i remember. ... so, it ends up where we talk awhile online, my puter cracks out badly, and we end up with a secret plan to see each other today

so at 4:30 i set my puter to DeFrag and i rollerblade to her house.. only not-quite so

i go to a street close

i call her at 5:20, when i arrived, like she told me to.. she had to eat dinner and intercept a call from the school. so i start rollerblading aimlessly around her backstreets, basically taking down-tyme to gain a dot in Urban Lore. dwight calls looking fer keck n kiel, keck has his letter from michelle.. Natalie calls looking fer kiel, we talk about kiel, and other lame/random things fer awhile.. i realize my phone still runs off a battery that rarely lasts past 40 minz.. weve bein on fer 36... fsck. so we stop talking.. then, i turn the corner and find christina.. she said she was gonna call, but she left in hopes of surprizing me..? It was a cute gesture, but it failed... im not easily surprized :(

we walk *i roll* around her block-thing with her lil dog she was walking... we talk, it was fun... her hair is its natural color, and SO perfect... *drools* first tyme iv got to touch it... :D .. we finally get to her street, she hasta go ... i got to see that "i want to be kissed" look in her eye.. im pretty fscked up in the head.. i enjoy that look.. jus the look, i dont do anything about it :D , i will.. im actually kinda hoping i get attacked, she makes the first move.. the problem is, by typing it, she'll prolly do it... as opposed if i jus wished.. cuz if i just wish and it happens, then i kno theres an element of specialness... oh well, what happens, happens.

then, i wait fer dwight, who was gonna pick me up, he does, and has Lance n Wes. ? .. he drops them off somewhere, we go to my home, then his house, where i wrote Christina back *she wrote a letter 3/10 he hadnt given yet*, then to kiels.. we suspect theres some Laura involvement.. but theres never any proof.. so fsck it.... but not too long after we get there, were kicked out.. it pissed me off cuz being kicked out interupted a phonecall from Christina.. dwight told jill about this one tyme when i was trying to military-press this barbell at his house.. it weighed 135, and i couldnt quite do it... he was trying to do the 'tacklin fuel' thing, so he yells "bridgette" ... i almost die, i luaghed, and almost dropd it on me... then, i stabilize it, and he yells "jill" .. I scream, and its up... BAM~! like that.. everyone had ph34r... cuz like, they saw my struggling, red-faced n all... then, he said that, and it went up hella smooth.... I hate her.

i think i might be possessed :D and if so, i think iv mentally beaten-down on this demon... maby its a lil-baby demon? either way, it only really does little things, gains lil powers.. and only fer a short tyme.. i use it to my advantage sometymes...

*grr*

but, on a much more pleasant note: Christina.

im not sure what else to say.. i mean, shes so coolies, and i get to spend almost no tyme with her... so i dont really hav much in the way of story, or ranting.. she hasnt done anything to inspire grr'ness and rant... of course, neither did jennifer most of the tyme...

ok, so im shifting back into lameness... im thinking Jill never loved me... and that she cant really feel 'love', but instead, its dependance... i mean, how else could she do what she did to me? right now, christina is so much nicer to me than jill ever was... like, if at any point i said "hey jill, ditch first to come see me" .. she'd bitch, complain, and say 'no' ...... christina did that jus to see me, i didnt ask. maby jill was right... maby the 'meant to be' we had did run out... of course, the reason was me... but not as she might think.. its prolly closer to -> I was the only reason that was there, so once i had second thoughts, once i even started to doubt, it came apart... i was prolly about 70% of that relationship.. and thats only cuz jill would take credit for doing the few things i asked of her...... everything she ever did for me had to hav the favor returned... not even my poor-ass friends do that shit!! thats why iv always felt more comfortable around them than her.. she always wanted something in return, alwayz kept bringing up the same old shit in her defense of needing retribution... thats not love, thats jus being lame

i rarely ask fer stuff tho.. and when i do, i make sure its important, and worth asking... and rarely do i bring up shit iv done for others... except when they refuse my ask a few tymes...

I Hate Jill

*grr*

but, as iv always said; the only thing ever wrong in my life is chick-related, and now that christina is who she is, my life is -set-... im reaching contentment :) my rant levels are already dwindling...

now, poor dwight... michelle wrote back to his "i love you, i really do, do you want to be with me" letter... she replyd "my life is busy, so can you put your feelings on hold, and be just friends awhile?" of course, they were both not that concise, but my representations were adequate...... so hes gonna write a manifesto **basically a dwight'ish version of 3 months of my rant all at once** poor dwight

i feel bad for Christina tho.. i dont hav any money, so i cant take her out or buy her stuff... i feel kinda bad.. im a lame b/f

but at least im nice :)

im tired, and its only 9:30.. wtf?

i think its cuz of Christina. i mean, im not sure how its her fault, but i still am gonna blame her *lolz* altho its not a bad thing, and im not mad at her...

i hope she calls in the morning.. i love waking up to the sound of her voice.. theres this lil hint of southern accent.. its so cute.. *sigh* that perfect fantasy, its getting close... im on the path, all it needs is tyme... and even tho i hate waiting, and least christina is there to wait with me.. no more being alone... *smiles*

hehehe.. *blushes*

ack! im getting all sappy ...

on D2, i worked on PimpMasta_JohDa, got him to lvl 14, and all i need to do is kill hell-baal ... then its all about the cow-level :D ... at lvl 17 i can start using all these cool items iv bein accummulating... altho most needed lvls like 23, 33, 48, 51 .. but still.. havta start somewhere

no email from christina tho.. i was sad.. there was an entry, its kinda fun to read an entry about the same day but by someone else.. :) http://south-reject.diaryland.com

she says im allowed to call... i couldntquie hear the explaination over the phone cuz ppl were loud, but i think its cuz when i last calld she said it was me, and her dad was ok wit it? if im right, then thats coolies, and im on my way to 0wnZ'ing on her dad... as i like to brag-> when it comes to old ppl, I Win.

i think im gonna eat, or play d2, or something... typing here is getting boring.. and i miss christina, so i want it to be trm already!!!!

*****funny: http://www.matazone.co.uk/theotherside.html*****

-0ut

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