2002-07-10 @ 5:52 p.m.
~ I Suck ~

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Well, a flood of memories n emotions forced my hand into a second-in-a-row entry ...

I emailed Emma, told her how sorry i was, how much i care...

Lacey, on the other hand, breaks her promise ... As usual she was upset ... and just as predictably, she took the worst sentence possible, took it out of context, then proceeded to whine about it ...Shes bein asking for just "friends" for years ... and when she gets it ...

I told her, or at least inferred, ill still here here for her, to give her the lil ego-boost she enjoys me for ... im not leaving her, im jus not Hunting anymore.. she cans stay with Zeke, or ryan, or whatever other loser-fan-boy wants to get played, which, if you liok at it, I , yes, I was played! Who sent flowers, christmas gift, money in da cards ...?? Who complains for the otherz absence?? Who first said I Love You?? ... well, I feel like this whole fucking thing is a pointless waste of tyme.

Lacey has no reason to be pissed.

She also decided to play her lil game, instead of actually confronting me.

And Emma had one stat that beats ANY, she likes me back!(*) One thing I could never completely n honestly say about Lacey ... LAcey said "as friends" .. Emma says "If only this conutry wasnt between us" ... i remember Lacey got pissed when i said that ..?? i like hearing it, i like knowing that someone would wish away 2000 miles to be with me ... If Lacey doesnt like that, fine, her choise, as i said, I'll stop bothering her ...

Im not breaking my promise, if you wanna email me, chat, whatever .. Im Still Here!

I dont play.

.

(*) <-- that mean i was ranting and had a equally relevant thought but it didnt fit into the rant ... Jill got 20 months of my life.. she was SO mean to me, but i stayed for SO long.. ya kno why? She liked me back, in the same way, equally .. none of that "friends" crap .. everytyme she asked "Why do you love me?" .. i say, usually joking, even tho its true "You said 'yes' " .... and thats what made her perfect in my eyes ... well, finally i snapped out of it, many scars *both emotional n physical* later ... I was just as mean to her tho.. i was awful .. i ruined things, she responded ... shit, she may hav even liked me MORE! ... that makes me feel awful ... i was stupid, but whats done is done, no matter how much i beg over the phone ....

Im pathetic, Lacey should be glad.

Emma, Im sorry, you were warned

Jill, *lol* I cant believe im addressing ppl like this, especially you, since you'll never get online to read this! *lol* unless you actually take my advice n slap Kiel into putting that phone-line thru the hole in the wall he made for his network line ... *shakes fist at hypocritical Kiel*

I think im gone ..

*is shaking ... not good*

byebye fer now!

*huggles*

I pray for the best!

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