2002-07-23 @ 7:51 p.m.
Well, I decide to leave the house today ... Bad move.

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Mood:~*ashamed*~ ; -=I Suck=- ; but i did warn.

~ This is a re-post! Fsck-You! ~

E-Mail:Emma needz to email me

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okay, i had more day ... err...

i woke up, mom drove us to her work, i got the car fer the day.. w00t!

i went home n got dressed n stuff, went to Carls Jr, droppd off the stuff, got my check .. bought food,

went to Jillz house, saw n talked to Jill ... she talked about her life, i mentioned myne ... shes happy i picked Emma over everyone else.. she really likes Emma fer some reason ... prolly cuz they both wanna be journalists? i dunno ... either way, im lame. We hugged alot, we had an almost constant physical contact, altho not really in any directly-bad way ... i made the mistake of kissing her on the forehead ... im feel awful, iv betrayed Emma... things could hav bein worse, but I was skilld enough to avoid that much awfulness...

So went to JCPenney's, did their insane 46 computer-questionaire... and in the end the computer told me my answers werent good enough for the position i was applying ...

I went to Hot Topic n got an application, then went back to Jillz... this tyme was the time everything happened, the las tyme wasnt .. the las tyme we only hugged a few times... nothing big ...

I got home, felt really awful .. called Emma warning her that I suck... i didnt want to come online for email i didnt deserve ... but she didnt get too mad ... i know she was internaly furious... im so fscking awful.

I called the Carrer Center at CSUS and my mom-ruth, who is getting me military-discounts on.. well.... everything!

then i ate .. came here... email/replyd to Emma ...

then went home really quick, used da potty, did some stuff fer gran...

then i went to Chevron n put air in my bike tires, went to Jillz... but as soon as i got there i remembered i left my puter on.. it was supposed to be a quick trip...

so I rushed back at insane speeds... totally hard-core... Im covered in my own sweat... dizzy n very fatigued ... but i made it here, Gabby IM'd me.. i feel dumb...

~I suck~

but my day was interesting :D

I want Emma online, i still hav apologizing to do.

~*~*~*oh, more to type!!*~*~*~

Iv bein reading Zekes diary ... for anyone who doesnt kno, hes Lacey'z most-loserest-fan-boy. He is totally convinced *or convincing?* that he'll end up marrying Lacey... he'll love her to his grave ... really pathetic, i mean, even i knew when to draw the line ... Lacey seemd to hav picked someone other than him! ... She really pisses me off, I mean, she can ditch me, but not Zeke... I feel sorry fer him! he reminds me of a less-smart more-desprate ~me~ ... anyways, From what I can tell, she picked Jere ...

That's the worst pick. By far. but see, he's irl, Zeke isnt. So really, im kinda hypocritcal for even talking. :D

Theirs some dude, he stole my name.. n hes gay. That upsets me, cuz im not. But some of the things he said i can relate to.. so of course, i start getting homophobic... im not gay, i like chicks ~too~ much!! ... it a literal obsession! ... so i cant be gay... especially since i dun even like guys! their gross!! plus if i was, even subconsciously, then wouldnt i had given-in n kissed Kiel when I had a *more than once* chance?

~$$$~ Im so poor ... the transmission-fool called, said that it would cost $520 to patch up all the holes n my transmission n 'see what happens' ... so im thinking i get the fscker replaced ... that'll sux ass. not to mention the $2000 i still havta pay for insurance... and im not considering the fact i can be seduced by things i see at the store... my car could brake in more spots... i want a place ticket. I want a plane ticket really really bad!! ... so i need to find a way to earn $30,000 in 30 dayz ... im under 18, so i cant get all the cool jobs...

Jordan put in his 2-wk notice at Carls Jr! w00t!! I feel so happy for him!! ... i jus hope he finds a better, much better job. I hope everything works out between him-n-Bre ... hes going into the Navy, shipping-out in January. 4 years iz a long tyme... i really hope everything works out... I think i might cry if they dont. Their relationship, something that cool, it drives my hope... It makes me feel like I might actually be able to achieve something that awesome... *gets teary-eyed* ... anywayz->

Sweet! magicrystalball said Emma will be on tonite!! w00t!!

Fsck! magicrystalball said Emma will be mad at me... damn.

sometymes i get bored... ~WakingUp !~@~! Zeroe'dIn~