2003-03-27 @ 11:18 a.m.
i fucking hate this.. i missed the call ~ before that tho -> awesome day w/ Lauren

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*a format means AutoComplete doesnt work.. so itll be a few dayze before these things get back*

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my puter is still fucked up badly, but ill type a long-awaited entry anyways...

so, yesterday, went to kiels, apparently some drama wit laura, she go tbeat-down on by natalie... wasted lots of tyme, jill was all "oh your being so nice today" .. wtf?.. i didnt do anything diferent ... then after so much waiting Lauren calls, shes at this 'miller park' .. so we leave, dwight came, since dwight showd up but kiel didnt want dwight to go with him, so we missed the park, got lost, found it finally after dwight asked directions.. so i get there, find spot Lauren from acrossd the park, and run to see her.. cuz shes hot.. we hug, kiss, right there *realizes i like both ascertiveness, and her ;)* .. spent the rest of the day living a dream.. like, honestly, it was like deja-vu, only instead of trying to remember the dream, it was happening.. we walked around the park awhile, then went to her home breifly.. her brother is, like, a God at D2, and he could prolly r0x on me both there and IRL.. iv never actually had to deal with a family member like that before.. this'll be interesting. so then we went to bella vista, where a beatdown was to occur, but she had to go.. i met her mom breifly ... then i re-met Josh Wolfe ... memories... omg, like, this kid was the only kid smaller than me in 5th grade.. but he quickly came back with two friends, jeff n dwight... yea, the beginning to my life... anywayz-> so there was no beatdown, they talked it out..

then keck came, we all hung out awhile, jeff admit to fucking april.. all sorts of stupid answers n shit about it.. *rolls eyes* but thats really his business.. then, alyssa, dwight, me n keck leave, go get beeman, dwight needed to sell to someone, so yeah, bu then there was drama there, cuz keck accepted and offer to smokeout *wtf?* and alyssa had gotten a promised he wouldnt.. so there was lotsa saddness from her, i tryd to un-sad her by resolving things.. which at first pissed keck off? ... but then he relented, the night was over, and as i was dropped of i made sure to say something memorable *only i cant remember it exactly, cuz im too smart?* .. then i went home... my computer lay gutten on my bed.. i remember'd.. i took my HD to kiels for the long-awaited format... so i call, rush over, his Compaq n its restore disks were on crack ... so we try fer awhile, and we guessd its as working as possible... i take it home, NOPE... nothing

try an old HD from and broken computer... nothing... so fuckit, i walked into michaels room n used his emachine n my emachine restore disks... got it to work after an hour... but it was crackd out.. i was tricked by my puter to deleting something much too important to my modem... and w/o a modem i cant go online n get all the driver i need... i tryd my backup-CD with my d/l's n 'My Documents' folder... its all gone.. completely gone.... the CD wasnt burnt right i guess... i almost cryd last nite... so i was like "its 2, im tired.. sleep, or H4rDC0r3?" ... H4rDC0r3, i went and re-restored that fucker agin... came back, got online, typed that entry.. downloaded this 'critical update' thinking it was something i needed... but no, fuck microsoft update, it was only IE6 ... i didnt even want IE6 that much, it spent 1.5 hours d/l'ing then i slept at around 5:30 ......... now, im SO fucking pissed... i woke up at 8:20, yea.. and now i feel like shit, Lauren calld, i didnt wake up for it. i fucking hate this.. i slept a lil more till about 10:30, and have bein working for an hour now on getting my video card n monitor to work... my settings are set to 16 colors, 640x320 ... only the drivers are funky, so its all lopsided n smaller ..... d/l'ing directX 9.0 , since the ATI video card rivers need directX 7 ot better... then after i get the card working right, it should up the resolution to my normal 1028x700-somethin ... *lolz* ... i couldnt even partake in my stash... 16 colors, none of those even remotely resembling skin-tone... i fuckin hate this...

and, to top things off, las nite lauren said she'd prolly have alot of HW and wouldnt be able to see me... so today is worthless. im gonna waste these hours on the restoration of my once awesome HD ....

another fucked-up thing... kiels ME made a 2.8GB partition in my HD ... wtf? so yeah,e ven more pissed-off-ness... im gonna at some point format it, delalte all the partiontions, then use my coolies Linux utility to restore it all into one aweesome partition. w00t! ... then then i hate life

and till i see Lauren agin, i hate life

and while i d/l this shit, i hate life

i miss her *sigh*

last nite i was thinking about her, constantly, so i had all the usually sappy 'shes so awesome' rant... but, well, theres only really, like 5 things in this world iv ~Loved~ ... one of them almost died las nite... im really not in the mood

but, since im on-topic -> she is perfect, or at least matching/beating the fantasy of perfect *yeah, and i dont kno how.. im almost scared, but shes cute, so yeah* ... and of course, if shes all "oh today you can come fer dinner" .. id be like " really, wha tis it.. im already halfway there" *lolz* ... but of course, today sucks, karma needs to balance with a shitty day or two...

and i feel horrible for not-waking up and getting that call.. im pretty sure shes not mad, and will understand... but still, i feel bad. I wanted to talk to her.

Alot.

plus, i was dumb n forgot to mention a few of the things i wanted to talk about irl with her.. grr'ness.. but next tyme.. yeah ;) also, like, iv bein thinking, i think whatever i do while kissing makes ppl think i want to tongue-kiss, so basically everyone but jill whos kissed me went straight for that, even on the first tyme... .. Lauren didnt. im thinking its a sign, and so if it is, its a good one.. altho im so tired and upset i cant think as to exactly how ... im not even sure why i mentioned it.. but yeah, she r0x :)

im gonna stop typing, and start in on this puter.. byebye fer nows

*huggles lauren; crys softly*

-0ut

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