2003-03-23 @ 9:05 p.m.
im ok, i survived, lucky me?? ~ Santa Cruz ~ w00t!

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!*~ Live Your Life Like A Rave-Machine ~*!

Mood: Its Tyme You Learned JUST Who You Picked A Fight With!!!!

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Well, im back, packed to the brim with typey-ness

im disappointed in my audience tho.. considering suicide was breifly an option.. but it was still ~Jill~ who was the source of the pain :)

ok, Chronology first:

so i quickly get away from my house, cuz i hate life... Kecks play was friday, so we go towards kiels... it ends up dwights hunting weed, and i got vodka from JQ who chillin w/ us in da keck-van

so i drink out front of kiels, get about 1/2 drunk, spill on me *JQ ran into me* went home, changed, and slept at dwights

woke up, chilld awhile, watched a lil "it takes 2" *an mary-kate n ashley olsen movie .. i hate life* .. but then go to santa cruz with dwight, n his dad to visit dwights aunt n g-ma'z .... chill there that nite

wake up the next day, watch TV, i lil of f.h. Dune.. which sux ass.. then went to the ocean/boardwalk/wharf .... ate at this lil resturant on the wharf... fell in love *hasnt stoppd thinking about her* with this waitress *shes russian, in the cute way* ... *sigh* then to the boardwalk, went on a ride w/ dwight, i think i sprained my thumb i held the bar so tight.. i was scared *lolz* .. then g-ma's home, chilld a bit, then the 3 hour drive home, now im here

the drunk nite i didnt *couldnt* think much .. i liked that

the next nite, after watching RiverWorld *which was an ok movie* i thought.. from 10:30 to 2:30 .. just thinking in the dark... oh god im a fuck-up

first suicide, then homicide, then a lil of both ... lots of un-fun emotions

basically, i hav a few plans.. some evil, some half-evil, some good .... and some that are dumb

okay, theres only 2...?

i can move to Santa Cruz, which would rock, i geta job on the boardwalk, see that chick... im not sure how id get here... walk if i hav to *train tracks, go straight there! w00t!*

or i threaten jill with her life, tell her im never gonna hav sex agin unless its her, tell her that im killing her to go ot jail, which will give me an entry path *and a nice story to tell* when i become a Priest.

so yeah

or i just live my shitty life for 4 more months then disappear forever

well, for the shor-term.. maby talk to jill *25% chance*, go ot Santa Cruz next weekend with Alyssa *50-120% chance* and try ot make the most of life

lateda

im feeling nice, nicer than i normally do after bad stuff happens to me

Lauren, christinas friend, is typing ot me in the other window... she seems more upset about this than i do, which is a lil odd..? i guess cuz iv had worse.. everything with jill was, even some of the good-days, and jennifer told i she thinks im too weird fer someone like her.. so yeah, this was fine... a basic girl-bullshit excuse, it makes me feel nice she'd tell me something that lame to try n spare my feelings *feels good inside* ... i didnt do anything wrong this tyme i dont think.. no lies, no secrets, no evil anywhere.. i feel good :D

*smiles brightly*

i drank myself to sleep, had a nice weekend more than 100 miles away from jill... im in a good mood

i hav a sore-throat tho.. that sux, but oh well?

im gonna stop typing tho... *yawn*

*huggles*

nitenite fer nows

-0ut

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