2003-02-15 @ 11:59 p.m.
weirdness-day ~ Fucking stupid people fucking with me! Grr!!

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Midi: kinda creey, forces the weirdness-feeling upon you... but yet has that nice lil part to, fit the day

Future: the therapist hasnt calld mom back, and mom told me she hasta talk w/e trm... fucking stupid people fucking with

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ok, today -> its got even weirder

so i wake up at 10:30 am, way sooner than normal ....

i talk to jill breifly, shes gonna call later when shes done w/ her granma...

i watch TV n sit around all day, wonder when the party is... i talk to natalie and she doesnt kno when either...

saw "tommy Boy" on USA ... a pretty cool movie ... Chris Farley is hilarious!!

talk to laura a few tymes, she was at the mall awhile, prolly will get a job there :D

at 5:43 dwight walks in w/ his friend david....? the partys at 6 :)

so they say theyll come back, in not dressd or showerd or anything

i do that, they come back, i talk to laura a bit but ahavta go once im ready to leave

at kecks, everyone doesnt pay much attention, except for when their mean to me... as usual

i talk to laura, but insist on it being short since im at kecks *keck hates laura alot**

i talk to jill, shes answers happy, but when she hears its me, an "..oh..." an octave lower-pitch ... ok, yeah, lots of enthus'd *sarcasm*

so, i get to the 'goodbye' and then remember all my friends hate me

lots of boredom, a breif fight w/ the didos w/ kiel, he wins, cuz im a Paladin, and im w/o shield....

then finally kecks sister returns w/ Bacardi ... ok, not quite Vodka, but still 80 proof

Keck goes around confirm whos drinking, whos not ... like as if to find the designated drivers, ya know.... except for everyone gets to drink, and when its me, hes all ->"but jonny, no, your not drinking" .. im like "huh?" ..." oh.. you didnt contribute money, so no, you cant have any!"

i leave

not taking that shit... half those ppl didnt contribute, and the ones who did were cuz -I- went around asking

plus when i had two bootles, i paid for, i shared!!!

so i left

calld jill, shes still awful to me... i cant take it, i hang up

i walk to the park, on the way i call natalie... ask fer dwight.. he understands whats up... but then hes all "here, talk to keck" .. no, i hang up.. i said, like, 4 tymes i dont wanna talk to keck

so i swing, pretend like im happy, cry, and then get the idea to go to jills n talk

i do

i get there, wait about 15 minz, her windows open

then i actually try n talk to her.. shes run upstairs, right past the door.. chuck answers.. i breifly talk, then say im leaving

i wait below her window *its 2nd story* .... she gets there after her shower *prolly another 30 minz* --*its in the rain, and cold, im frozen n wet* ... she finally get near the window, i toss a pebble.. she sees, but pretends to ignore -> i throw another, harder... she pretends to barely se out the window.. i prep to throw another, but she answers... she says she'll be down. ... i wait a bit, then she goes

we talk breifly, i remind her i love her, and will do anything to prove it :) and that no amount of pain and suffering matches this.... not even clod n rain *she knows i hate rain, especially when its cold* .... we almost finish, i she asks me to go home n sleep, she'll call in the morning... but then chuck butts-in and talks *can smell beer on his breath, stupid bastard* ...... so, we talk, about kiel *hes drunk, ok, whatever* ...... then, outta NoWhere my mom shows up, tells me to get in the car!? ok, yeah, what? janene pokes her head out "you should really be getting to bed jonathan" .. mkaing it sound like im some crackd out lil kid, like i wasnt leaving? .... i was about to before chuck was there!?!?!!

okay, whatever, i say bye to jill, shes gonna call trm at around 8-9am

then, i get in the car..

my moms hella dumb, talks to me ... accuses me off being on drugs, suicidal, threating-jill-or-intimidating-type-grrness, and shit like that... "are you ok to be alone tonite?" -- "i want you to stay home for the rest of the evening. " ... stupid bitch... i walk out pissd off, she doesnt say anything.. but as soon as someone else is involved, she hasta be a good mother and annoy thhe hell out of me.... i almost wanna do something tonite jus to defy her... but i wont... If it was between me-and-jill tonite, i would have left 10 mins sooner and prolly she would end up liking me more

now shes gonna be pissd at me, since janene n chuck will bitch at her...

stupid fucking people fucking up my life.

so, now im home, pretty pissd, altho in the fun i-wanna-yell-n-break-shit-way ... kinda smiling at the absurbity of it all

but whatever

im still wet

i hate that

grr

-0ut

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