2003-02-14 @ 12:33 a.m.
EntireLifeAndWorldFallApart ~ but im still smiling?

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Midi: that music came form FF3, right after Kefka destroys the world.. my world feels pretty gone right now, yet i wanna

Music: Tori Amos, cuz she plays the piano, and i wanna play the piano, and laura likes her, and i like laura... yeah :P

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an amuzing twist to my life...

well, okay, not really, life is still shit, even moreso since ... okay, ChronoLogical Order ->

i wake up really early and walk to jills to give her the note... she really is pissed n hates me n grr'z ... i, of course, cry more.

i lay there for most of the day wishing i was dead, thinking about all the awfulness.. i fell asleep, and i had a dream were i was crying over her.. that how lame its getting.

then i wake up, think more, i got a solution....

so im not gonna do -anything- until she comes back to me.. or at least anything that she'll ever hear about.

and with that i have disowned all my friends who talk to her. :D

later tho, i spent the day with Laura, who is becoming cooler n cooler... less n less kiel-ownzd ... so, that was a nice twist... oh, i also saw Sarah, the one Jeff n Anthony kno... it was interesting..

i walked home from lauras home.. on the way i thought, and iv prolly walked a good 10 miles today... i n33d my car... ill never get the money to fix it tho.. id need, like, $5000 .... and by then im in the Navy.. so theres really no point.

i got calld by dwight n kiel on the way home.. i told them im not gonna continue talking to them until this thing with jill is settled...... and since they kno shes a dumb slut who wont ever like me agin, they kno they wont be seeing me agin.

They didnt seem to mind to terribly much.

And I didnt expect them to.

i got home, told mom i need therapy, and got online... them i saw the "porcelain princess" banner. Well, me being the drunkie i am I equated that to drinking first, but the banner also mentioned her not-having a tan.. and since paleness can be pretty sexy, i decided to check it out :D ...

Well, shes almost my moms age, but still is really fine *drools a lil* .. and has all sorts of beautiful HTML-ness ... awesome pages, even tho i can tell she prolly has never actually seen HTML script...... on her main page the title is still " index - " ..... and since the code to fix that is usualy, like, line 3, im pretty sure shes being using an editor of some kind.

Still, im quite jealous .... and id prolly drool or pee on myself if she even talked to me nice, much less offerd a coolies template or some other holy-offering.

Shes also into God, which happens to bizarrely be a turn-on... since its harder to get down a christian girls pants *im crazy, leave me alone* ... Id prefer to not-get-any than to be with a slut... i mean, petroleum jelly n baby oil is SO much better than anything a slut has to offer... plus the only guilt associated with those is spending the 3$ or 4$ at Rite Aid...


so, my life is spiraling downward, yet im kinda smiling... Leslie has managed to brighten my day *or maby it was the making-out wit laura before she went inside? .. either way*

now im gonna sleep


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!~* C'est Fini *~! - 2003-05-04
new diary... well, not yet - 2003-05-03
drunken entry... these are cool, arentthey? - 2003-05-03
random entry ~ jills fault... **and then later this becomes THE JILL PAGE** - 2003-05-02
Prom ~ okay, not myne but still! - 2003-05-02

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