2003-02-10 @ 1:42 a.m.
Drunken Entry ~ laura hates me, jills grr, i jus want tihngs to go back to being happy....

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Midi: its so sad... but its bein stuck in my head all day? i dont want to be sad anymore...

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im drunk

i woke up, laura was gonna walk over, instead she gets a ride form dwight/dwights work

we hang out, she kisses me when either i catch her off-guard or she wants to make kiel jealous, we go by game, but not actually in, then we go to the park n mesa, getting drunk

i run around alot, hate life.,.. i get to the back of the skoo.. where me n rebecca sat a few tymes looking at the creek... i looked along the trail we'd walk n hold hands...... back when i was worth living....

i cryed... i cryed all the way to kiels, then in kiels, cryed on his bed.. then walked out crying.. then cryd on my way back after seeing jills light on.. then more crying on her floor.. i talked to her, and it makes everything so much worse... then i cryed walking around mesa and all the way to dwights... i cryd a lil in dwights, then i cryd to kiel over the phone... then i tryd to talk to laura, who hates me, then i walked home

i might be dehydrated from crying... ?

i was gonna ask tina if she'd be there for me... ? ... but she was gonna sleep

everyone else is asleep

lauras midi song is playing, since i left my diary open....

i want everything so be happy agin, i want to hold someone and tell them i love them and to be held back and told im loved....

i think im gonna end up dieing before that happens

...

unless a few of the ppl iv met recently start actually meeting em n talking to me n stuff......................

i want to cry myself to death.

or at least feel good about life agin?

-0ut

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