2003-01-26 @ 1:35 a.m.
Game Over; So I start a new one...???

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CellPhone: call it :P 8212392 (only way to get ahold of me?)

$~ Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained ~$

Im very afraid of this. But I might do it ..?

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oh god.. today

i called -everyone- today.. they all had something or nothing to do.. either way, i wasnt included

I meet up with laura, then everyone calls me, wanting to do stuff even tho they hav no real plans ...

i say no, im staying with laura, i promised

we walked to the mall, saw britney cable, who still hates laura, and then calld everyone on the dying cell phone, called lilly, who hates laura and she wasnt gonna be nice to me now?... then i hear from natalie that janene saw kiel at the mall, i call janene, she says he was there 10 minz ago, ... me n laura see him, he iggys her, she starts crying ... *sigh*

i talk to her more, she calls the g-pa, we get a ride home, i talk wit the g-pa, and now her parents are totally cool wit me :D ... then we were gonna take kiels stuff back to him, but he wouldnt talk to laura, thinking she shes wit me now *hes double-dipping, and pissed that im stopping him* ... so anywayz -> she crys somemore... then we start walking. We walked to the park, then the school, to kiels *no one was there but parents* to use the potty, then back towards her house. We talked alot, and came up with a plan

we run away, to san fransisco, or davis, or Los Angeles, or turlock ... but no matter where we ran, we'd be away from kiel n jill.. they couldnt hurt us anymore...

so we make the details, go to her house, get the stuff... go to my house, get my car, sit and talk awhile.... dwights, brian beeman, keck, alyssa, n kiel pull up, asking about stuff... yeah, they suck, but i talked breifly... then they leave, then later dwight comes back, wanting to talk to me, but he says alyssa wants to.. liar.

i didnt kno, we drove by kiels, dwight tailed us briefly, i take laura home -> ppl on her street stop me thinking -Im- the one who bein messin wit there turf... oh god

I use my l33t skillz to convince them that no one i hav ever contactd is involved, then i go to dwights to find alyssa

there is no alyssa, only a dwight.. we talk breifly... apprantly they attacked fowler house *laura fscked fowler to get at kiel, kiel never stoppd wit his grudge* ... but see, the reason we'v never done that before is that fowler isnt a daywalker... so they got chased n stuff... they prolly blamed it on me *or otherwise involved me* .. but since i was wit laura, i hav an alibi *yea, sweetness* ... so everyone trys to talk to me, it ended wit laura n keck talking to me on the phone *cell n house line* ... then keck n laura wanted to talk... so i said *whatever?* and now im waiting for laura to call me.

I really hope she doesnt talk to kiel...

I talked to Ali breifly.. if i go thru with running away.. ill really miss her.. i hope she calls me then :D?

but, it would also jeopardize our missing-ness... so yeah.

Im kinda thinking against it, since im totally running feverish and getting all nauseous'd out of fear.. im scared, id be very scared doing this.

Im also scared that laura might betray me. I mean, whats to stop her.. shes already won, she has everything shes needed... and im useless, so im gone. But at the same tyme, shes bein thru all that, why would she do it to someone else.. I dont even think ill ever be able to breakup with another girl agin after this... id havta have alot of very big reasons that theres -no- way to resolve..... at all... ever...

and even then, id prefer to not do it.

so, like, basically, im fscked up................... and im gonna do something stupid.. but i might win, i might actually hav fun, and live a happy life.. it could be great (if it werent fer the scary fear-based side-effect i get every tyme i think about doing this))

im gonna go.

nitenite fer nows

hopefully youll see me agin!

-0ut

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