2003-01-22 @ 12:21 a.m.
Why?

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Mood: In case you havnt noticed, iv seen better days.

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Grr..

I came online expecting something to have happened

it didnt

makes me think i was right when I said i -should- hav pressed 'reset' but didnt .... life has slowly become more and more depressing -and- boring...

how the fuck can this much nothing ruin me?

I mean, im walking around in pigtails... no one says anything

no one even cares?

i need something to change

quick

before I change something

*sigh*

no email, no important updates, nothing

I try and try and try ........ i makes things worse

fsck this!

Why should I be willing to waste all this time and effort? Im looking forward to -alot- of working, alot of 'try', and for what?

Why?

thats all i can keep asking

Why?

im close to crying .... i hate this

really, the root of all this is hope

and how hope is a big fucking lie.

I came home hoping Ali emaild me

i came home hoping someone, anyone, had something nice to say?

instead, no emails, no ones on.

So, im back at the whole "Im suppsed to be dead, this sucks"

fuck

Maybe I should! Tonite! Right here!!

*smiles*

im gonna go do something... maby ill come back

-0ut

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