2003-01-13 @ 10:48 p.m.
I hate life, but not enough to do something about it yet

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wow... i didnt kno i went this long

Saturday, i do a demo fer Natalies mom, i suckd, i hate that job, im gonna quit ... ate dinner there, i think her parents like me, but Rosemary doesnt. Why? I hav no clue. Maby i should go hardcore n talk about it? *reminds me of dwight, but that part comes later*

sunday, slept, tryd to quit, drove wit kiel n tina fer hours, had some transmission troubles ... actually, alot

Monday, today, barely limpd my sorry car to work to quit, then to chevron ... wont get it back till at least wednesday, prolly more. Fsck.

That ticket... i think it was the 15th i had court. what day iz today???

Not The Point!

so, today, went to dwights after chevron, then to mesa, he leaves wit michelle, went to kiels, went home, went to mesa, saw everyone, found dwight, this one girl named sara that keck fuckd was there? ... no reason, DM says "Err... sara! .." we say.. "So?" DM says, "N/m she leaves"

anywayz

chilld, then we went to *me n kiel* to Natalies, saw alyssa there, and Rosemary, and rosemary iz mean ... then keck came, we went to A-1 to play DnD *???* wit Dan *???* it was lame, we were iggyd, Dan wanted to fight, i would if he was not a minor *i go to jail when i whoop on him* so then it ended, nothing happend *irl n Dnd*, then .. um.. oh yea, to dwights where there was lots of discussion on the buffing of cock, and fucking the Dog. *damn anthony*

but basically, there was lots of talking, and what really makes me wonder -> How do -I- come on strong? most of the tyme girls i like dont even notice me?! wtf?!

which brings me back to my rant SO long ago. ... All I really want is to be loved n cared about in the same way n quantity as I put-out ... and its not happening.

Grr.

Jill sux, but we all knew that

I called Jennifer today... she wasnt there, her mom asked if i had a message, i said not reall, she said 'who is this?' and i told her.. shes like "Oh." and hung up. It was funny

So Jill managed to ruin -Two- relationships. filthy lieing slut.

*deja-vu, scary* - *something bad happens next.. Eep* - *or i woke up, which was also bad*

um...

Ali never emailed back after i replyd, but she did update her diary... makes me think iv bein iggyd.

Im starting to hate life agin.

Its not fun.

Maby I will, i mean, thers no one stopping me now. No one who can... Jill cant, shit, i dont think id date her if she wanted to... shes evil, the scary kind, burning-ass-rape-of-hell kind of evil ...

So there really is, nothing, to live for.

:D

I need email.

not that im thinking about 'reset' for attention, but im typing it for attention. If I really was about to, you wouldnt know it unless you saw it on the news, or you were mentioned in my will.

Grr.

Why cant things be simple, go my way?

shit, the only thing easy was piper, which is serious amounts of EWWW!

um... im deciding wheather I should call this girl who's diary i found and iv only talked to, like, once, but she posted her cell, and so im super curious, and very very bored... Eeps..

**pause, thinks, 2 IM windowz**

okay, so i guess i wont

-yet-

:D

.

I just wish things could go back ... back to when the world meant something, and everything was fun ... I used to be happy ... once ....

*sniffles*

and thats how i know, im done, its over.. ash to ash, dust to dust, fade to black.....

the glasses arent helping.. or maby i havnt worn them all day... but still, i cant be becoming dependant on these..?? wtf!?

i just realized. This diary, it ruins any chance of someone to like me. so by trying to like someone whos seen this, im really wasting my tyme, cuz no one can really survive my not-quite-so-inner-thoughts ... Jill rarely even heard about them, much less saw ...... Jennifer, well, everyone knows what happend there. and everyone else... yep ...

I hate life. Im gonna post so that becky has more to read :P

-0ut

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!~* C'est Fini *~! - 2003-05-04
new diary... well, not yet - 2003-05-03
drunken entry... these are cool, arentthey? - 2003-05-03
random entry ~ jills fault... **and then later this becomes THE JILL PAGE** - 2003-05-02
Prom ~ okay, not myne but still! - 2003-05-02

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