2002-07-31 @ 10:26 p.m.
Freshman year ~ I hav come full-circle

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Mood: Playing To A Lost Sensation

Email: What started this current chapter

Person: Sara, she alot more interesting than I remember.

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well, i spent the day at Sara's home, and since I noticed i havntranted about Sara ; i will... what prompted this was that when I first started the journal, she was a bad memory, i fscked up bad, a prime example of why i suck :D ... I never thought i would need to introduce her for the sheer fact

I never expected her to talk to me :D .. well, obvoiusly, she did.

I started in 9th grade, prolly one'a the most uncoolies tymes to kno me.. I was stupid, obnoxious, and I kept thinking that i was cool ... More proof that i was dumb ... And during that tyme i had, like, a million crushes, all on girls ~way~ out of my league ... And one'a those jus happened to be Sara. I first started in PE, we had that class together ... my memory is so faded, so lots of detailz are missing ... but I was, as usual, lame and obnoxious.. she tolerated me out of pity i think, she was still mean to me, not mean enough, cuz i still pretended that she liked me... I kept annoying her daily, followed her home some dayz ... I never took the hint, and kept pissing her off in the hope that she'd like me *it doesnt make sense, im an idiot* .. finally, I topped things off with the single-most stupidest thing i had ~ever~ done ... and she hated me fer good .. I cryed fer a long tyme, but since i was suspended, and then there was weekend, i had tyme. One day, that summer, i was walking home in the most awfulest heat, when i see Sara's moms car driving straight towardz me.. I had ph34r, i was rapidly tryin to think of what I had done, i knew it was my fault... well, she offered me a ride :D that was coolies indeed!! .. Sara still didnt really want anything to do with me, but i think her mom presured her into it, so we hung out, I went back to liking her... but agin, im dumb. The most we ever did was one day, i had the door only open a crack, the light was off, and we were laying on my bed, 2-3 ft apart ... I was staring at her, wanting to kiss her, wonder how bad id get slapped, my mind was racing ... every passing moment made the idea a better one ... but then Gran burst in screaming about how it was cool to hav the door open -only- a crack and the light off ... it scared the hell out of Sara, she didnt even notice what was going on... so she decided that spending tyme with me wasnt coolies; ...

Then Jill came along, that was an obvious ditraction, Sara faded into the background ... she continued being alive, which leads me to believe that shes not an NPC ... anywayz->

After me n Jill broke up, I saw her in Adan'z class fer summer-skoo *Ceramics* and I had the coolies idea to try thinga agin ... that idea didnt last long, i knew for a fact she didnt like me ... Plus, she met Vollman there... And at some point, they started going out. So she, once agin, faded into the background, I talked to her occasionally... but nothing really memorable ...

We started talking agin a few dayz ago.

She broke up wit Josh a few dayze ago.

And now... well... :"> ...

so thatz the Sara rant.

-0ut

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