2002-07-13 @ 5:23 a.m.
Social Studies : Confidence-Zeke

*~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ >

*~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ >

to top of the last rant, Lacey gave me lots of do, and little feedback, which meant I got very used to trying harder with her... Emma is the opposite, I come online and she likes me for it.. iv done hardly anything... I want to, but I cant think of much to do, shes so awesome she can solve her own problems w/o me..! ... Its easyer-n-harder..?? oh well, im not complaining *except fer Jill, I complain bout her ALOT* .. I like this way of things.. its, normal, or something fer me... The only thing, is if I only had/needed one person... that'd save alot of tyme n trouble....

the second rant:

Social Studies:

People think I dont hav skillz, that im socially-inept... well, first, none of them even kno me, second, fsck them! I predicted they'd say that, because I set up the whole fucking deal!! I made them say it! I said all the right things, at all the right tymes, and diretly caused that event, so fsck them fer being predictable!! This is the curse of Genius. *this is tieing into the first rant a little.. I Fear* I tell ppl what i want them to kno, act to match.. they react exactly as they should... See, my friends *jeff, kiel, jordan* mock me cuz im 'desparate, and un-wanted' ... did they ever read the entry "Im walking a very thin line"??? well, no , and they wont... because the scene doesnt call for that.. it calls for me to later remark "some guys pick an age limit" when refering to some girl *11, 12?* at Taco-Bell ... in addition to that, kiel n jeff think they hav mad-chick-skillz, since they can get chicks alot... did they ever notice they'v bein getting the same ones??? or that those same chicks hav been with EVERYONE on this fscking planet, except usually me n jordan, cuz skeezy hoes dont really appeal to us... Now, really, when the chicks that jus noticed you was, a week ago, with some dude, and a week before that another ... wouldnt you wonder? or when they say "My EX" bout the same person? well, actually, they never say "My EX" , and fer good reason ... and so when i was watching Kiel try n pick up on an internet-chick.. he was all "You hav no chance with her, shes not ur type ... Now, I can do this" .. well, first, it was his g/f pretending to be someone else to check his loyalties , so i really had no chance for that reason alone, and second, she *was pretending to be* a hoe.... her profile said she liked "pleasuring herself in public" .. if i saw that, id close the window... sluts arent cool.

So they think i hav no skillz... Well, they must be wrong, because iv prolly gone thru 100 intronet g/f's, i had the skillz to make a few chicks like me as 'friendz' *altho a few I think, in retrospect, wanted more, but im dumb still* ... now, im not claiming to hav enough skillz to get anything accomplished, but I do hav a better chance of getting a chick that can still remember how many ppl shes fscked ...

Plus, i hav intamate science-based observation-type-skillz... i know, for a fact, I could get Zeke lay'd ... the one thing he fergot.. there are, essentiacially, dual-aspects to Human, Emotional-internal-ness, and Physicall-external-ness.. well, coupled with genetics, I fear for this world, because I know how they interact *at least i think i do, and nothing has yet to prove me wrong* ..

Your mood, your thought, your mindset.. they all influence pheramone production, alter brain chemicals, change the pH balance in your sweat ... It also influences your body-language, tone-of-voice, etc.. *Im gonna use Zeke as my prime-example, since I can relate to his plight.. Iv bein "friends" wit too many ppl ;)* ... Lets say Zeke met a girl, and she was B4B3-0-R4M4 style, cute, smart, well-endowed... really made him wish fer a second pair of underroos... Well, im gonna skip ahead.. Hes now met her, made frineds *since at some point were all friends* ... well, hes gonna want that SO bad, willing to do or say ANYTHING! and he will... but what he doesnt kno is that mentallity jus fscked him. See, that puts out the "desparate" pheramone, prolly used back-in-the-stone-age to show that he was so very open, and if your tyme was short n your genes needed a pair, he was it.. in real-tyme, all its gonna do is get you a slut ... normal chicks will run from that scent ... meanwhile, that asshole who treats her like dirt has 3 advantages.. one.) you provide emotional support, now he doesnt hav to 2.) he smells like confidence, like macho, like testosterone, like healthy children and a defender-of-the-cave... 3.) and he prolly has the attitude, demeanor, body-language, and muscle to back up his scent! ... which means if you *poor Zeke* fuck with him, he'll pound the shit out of you... now, obviously, this wont ever happen irl, since im not even sure i kno what im talking about... but my observations show promise... Chicks dig jeff, right up until he opens his mouth.. he has more muscles than I, and he smells *to a real degree, but it only seems to piss guys off, chicks rarely speak up against his funky odor?* ... he has a very arrogant attitude, and could prolly defend it against anyone who amy try to attack it... now, i noticed he lost after two events.. he got rissa, but shes kinda skeezy from what I understand, and so that put a bad scent on him, and a bad social record.. and then i got the new trait "fulfilled" since he was fscking her regularly.. chicks rarely dig a guy whos nutted within the past 48 hrz... he dumped rissa, but he failed to plan ahead.. shortly after, he started getting desparate, he frequently talks of how he wants to go get some.. *so pathetic, i feel sorry* ... *and they say im desparate?* ... so anyways.. Kiel has a defective phearamone gene.. im serious, hes a crack-baby.. his mom was using drugs, including crack.. all though his development... his pheramone seems to be universal.. everyone is keyed in.. but sluts like it the most... plus, he always has the suave i-can-get-chicks-anytyme attitude, and hes fairly good at telling chicks exactly what they want to hear.. an all-around success... Jordan is fucked... he has a un-trained cat-filled house... you can smell it from his lawn.. he himself.. i hav no data... but he manages to get g/fs every now-n-then, and they usually are crazy .. some are icky, some arent.. no data agin..... he has an overall good mentality n way-wit-words, and is good with most any social situation ... *altho if i try, ill beat him any day of the week... i made friends wit all his, and his enimies, and ppl no one else knew* ... my point? No one approach, no one tactic will get you friends. I hav made enough observations in a broad enough range of topics to be able to predict *fairly accurately* anything that will ever happen.. thats how im so good at making ppl like me.. its a NEEDED skill, because w/o it i could never get anything done.....

And im very well aware this entry is counter-producitve. fsck you.

Knowing I know this is why im so afraid, why I dont like me.. Im afraid that in fact all my responces are perfectly tailored to make everyone like me... and that im only catching the few obvious ones.. that every thought is being controlled by my subconscious for the nefarious purposes of getting me what I selfishly want... I hav no clue how exactly that works, but I fear anywayz...

Well, my brain counterz with the thought that I actually want everyone happy, so that they like me, and praise me... and Ill accept it, why not? And hopefully Zeke will work-out some *the more it hurts means the more lactic-acid is running thru ur veins, and that means adrenaline.. your bodys testosterone levels increse too.. somehow.. ?* and he'll find himslef a chick who isnt skeezy, but also isnt ugly or somethin... He got better tell-them-what-thet-oughta-hear skillz than me... He can make "Friends" obviously much better than I.. maby the next 'friend' he meets will get a good whiff of 'Confidence-Zeke' and want to try out a more ... involved relationship :D?

Meanwhile, iv bein sitting cross-legged on this floor for hours, my back hurts really bad.. so im gonna press "done!"

-0ut

*~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ >